In this Season: New Surprises & Family Moments

Though I took an unexpected break from blogging, it has definitely still been in the forefront of my mind. Being able to share and record life in a unique way is a big piece of my heart and I'm so grateful to be back (hopefully for much longer). Well much has happened! Lots of growth, changes, challenges, but oh so many triumphs. The ones that humble you and remind you that God is working ever so sweetly in your life to make you better. 

As you can see the boys have grown! And their personalities are something for short stories and live television for sure...especially Titus. They are so much fun, so much that we are having our THIRD BOY in February! Yes, you read that right...our THIRD BOY ha! I can't say that Mike and I weren't hoping for a girl (so much he thinks we should try one more time...), but my heart truly is at peace and full of excitement. 

We had the opportunity recently to do a family photo session with one of my absolute favorite photographers and close friend from Uplifted Photography! I cannot even describe how I feel looking at our family in this new season. Thank you as always Bri for capturing us so perfectly, and sweet baby boy before his arrival!

Weekend Adventures: Great Eats & Sweet Moments

 

Finding quaint places to eat and new adventures have become our thing, and it's great to enjoy it with Kai and Titus as well. I am convinced that the best places to eat are sometimes the hardest to find! And being able to try new things always makes for new memories and great weekends.

This past Saturday we were invited to try The Secret Garden with a friend of ours. I've heard about it and the dining experience, but just never found the time to make it. The restaurant is located in Old Town Occoquan here in Woodbridge, VA. It's most certainly hidden, only providing a hanging sign to its entrance. 

 

But my oh my is it fantastic! The food was absolutely incredible and the service was outstanding. I tried the salmon burger (trying to eat healthier...most days) while the boys ate fresh blueberries with chicken and fries. Did I mention they have a children's menu and all of their ingredients are fresh?!? We all had such a wonderful time amongst the peaceful and semi quiet (my kids were quite entertaining) environment. 

 

 

Mike and I plan to go back again for brunch just the two of us. I've heard it's even better! What are some of your favorite quaint spots? 

Marriage: Learning this side of Us

 

The best marriage advice I received was early on: "relationships are like a dance, to grow you have to learn and adjust your steps." Every season is like a new song, sometimes you can move with ease or your partner can. Other moments you both seem to have left feet and desperately need some aid on the dance floor. Regardless of the song, when you've found someone you want to keep dancing with you figure it out along the way. 

For the last two years we've been in a season of a lot of new steps and many forgotten ones that I've had to relearn. As much as I love watching other couples, my biggest "couple goals" have always been my own...but it hasn't been easy. After coming alongside my husband in ministry, many areas that we had suppressed, ignored, and put a do not disturb sign on came full force in our faces. Going from seeing each other for maybe three hours total (working two different jobs and schedules) to now being side by side almost the full 24...it's been a serious adjustment! 

 

These last two years of our marriage have been unique as our love and commitment have required far more actions than words. When the arguments have gotten ugly and the space between us has felt like a thousand miles emotionally - my heart's intentions had to step up their game. Nothing is solved in a day, but as we learn, grow, and mend some broken areas I've noticed 3 changes we've made in this new dance:

1. Acknowledging where things are at: Because it's better to feel the sting of truth rather than the heartbreak of a lie. Though we can laugh now, we couldn't a few months ago when we both realized "this should be a safe place, but it's not." Processing that we both were on edge in the majority of our conversations always caused a sense of walking on eggshells. Truth was somewhere a hurt or offense began to crack our safe haven between us. Before we knew it everything was heard, seen, and felt through a distorted lense. Acknowledging and speaking truth to one another has rebuilt simple trust in our communication and safety...it's a daily practice I know we must stay committed to.

2. Make the time: It's the kids. It's your job. I'm tired...we all know the excuses, so we don't have to make the time. Saying yes to everything and everyone else made it so easy for me to say no to Mike and vice versa. Time is precious and the best way it's spent is cultivating your most important relationships. Understanding that all really good things take time...your time. Push yourself to make the effort if you want it to work. So making time to spend without kids, making time to find areas of interest, making time to have sex (indeed - that as well), all of those things are so vital for both of us. As we've made it a priority my radar can sense now when we haven't... which is a good thing. 

3. Identify and Practice ONE area of common ground: If Mike were writing this it would be sex haha. And truth is if that's your starting point in your marriage to help things get back in place, then by all means go for it! But in all seriousness for us it's prayer. Our own spiritual walks are what brought us together and it's our strongest common ground - our love for Jesus Christ. So we start there, and it doesn't always look like long devotionals or time spent on our knees praying. It's looked like conversations about podcasts, articles, a book we read together, or even what God may be sharing with us personally. Intentionally talking about something we both enjoy starts to open doors for us to talk about other things. Like the days when you could talk on the phone for hours...remember those? Yeah, I don't remember what we talked about at all, but I can recall the feeling of not wanting it to end. Practicing and finding something you both can do reminds you that you both actually like each other before this season. For us it's unveiled areas we didn't realize were a common ground! But practice is so key.

Though not everyone believes in soulmates, I do believe that when you choose to dance and take a journey alongside someone else you mean it. You choose that person, because it makes sense in more areas of your life than you can count. In our truthful moments we've both wanted to quit and walk off the dance floor...it's not been easy, but intentionally changing has become easier as we practice it. 

I pray whether it's your best season or worst while you step on each other's toes that you're encouraged and try at least one of these three for yourself. All good things are worth trying and I'm a firm believer that this is worth trying. 

Family Vacation: Hello from Disney!

Can you believe we made it to Florida! All four of us! It was a much needed vacation and far far overdue for all of us. Over a year ago, Mike and I sat in a time share presentation (for three hours...literally) so that we could go on this trip which included airfare, hotel, and tickets to the Magic Kingdom! I mean it really was a deal we couldn't pass up, only having to pay taxes (which was still fantastic). The trip was amazing, and I am so grateful that we stopped and made the necessary time to be with the kids and not once talk about work or deviate from just enjoying the time together away.

I would totally go again! Even with small kids, planning truly is what made this trip worth while. Three things I learned that allowed for this experience to be one with no regrets were:

1. HAVE AN ITINERARY! You may not stick to it all, but having an outline of what we wanted to do each day allowed for enough expectancy and flexibility to keep us all excited to see and enjoy as much as possible. I had posted on my facebook asking for any and all Disney Expert advice, which came in handy! Things like buying some toys from the Disney store ahead of time, doing a character breakfast, and a few tips of being able to bring food into the park were so so helpful.

2. PACE YOURSELF! With a four year old and very active almost toddler, I knew we couldn't do it all...which is hard for me. BUT it made me slow down and just enjoy the simple things we did like play in the pool at the hotel, take a long nap (the simple things), or just sight seeing after bedtime. Vacation gets so hectic, you can forget the point is to relax...so relax.

3. IT'S OKAY TO KEEP A BUDGET! Disney can bring the best AND worst out of your kids - no matter how much money you spend. I realized that quickly as my kids still had meltdowns and tantrums...because they're kids. Knowing that, I know that the best moments we had were when nothing was purchased, but lots of laughs and pictures were taken. Knowing we were doing specific things allowed me to save on trinkets and items that I knew my kids would care less about once we returned home. So I didn't buy the $18 sparkling light saber, but I did find a $3 one at target! But we did splurge on face painting and other things that I knew Kai would never forget.

I'm no travel/vacation expert, but I hope to take these lessons and plan our next trip somewhere as a family. It was so rewarding to see the boys have a BLAST and us too. Here are some of my favorite moments

What are your favorite travel tips with littles? I can't wait to see what new adventures we take as a family of four this year. Especially since we survived the plane!

Ministry & Marriage: Unexpected Connections

October has literally been filled with all things pumpkin! Everyday for the last several weeks Mike and I have been overseeing our annual youth fundraiser, which happens to be a Pumpkin Patch. It's actually been really cool (a bit overwhelming haha), but nonetheless a crazy whirlwind I know I wouldn't have survived without Mike. 

As we see the light at the end of the tunnel, I've been looking back at how even this opportunity allowed us to better communicate, find ways to enjoy one another, and see new strengths that we didn't know existed. I have to say my favorite part has been reading The Pumpkin Patch Parable to a crowd of children while Mike (dressed as Tigger) has acted out parts alongside me and kept them on edge as to how the story ends. 

It's been a sweet and stressful month, but more importantly incredible. Ministry has its moments, but I'm thankful we do it together...I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Ministry & Family: Being Creative with Quality Time

We are embarking on a full month of being engulfed in ministry as our second Annual Pumpkin Patch fundraiser is upon us. For the next month our lives are going to be filled with pumpkins...pumpkins...and more pumpkins. To say I'm a little overwhelmed is an understatement, but I'm definitely up for the challenge. But most importantly I'm thinking of not allowing this month to completely cause my family and especially the boys to feel excluded. That's the battle isn't it?

So we're finding ways to connect the boys while the work is being done. Kai has been waiting for this time of year, because he always has a blast and I'm looking forward to Titus enjoying himself too. From hayrides to games and pumpkins, I want to make sure that the boys feel as included as possible while keeping the balance of all the things...

Hopefully after school I can bring the boys to the patch since Mike is overseeing it the majority of the time. I'm ready for them to enjoy some fun time added into our routine. Being creative with our family time is definitely the name of the game. My biggest prayer is to not have the boys resent our time in ministry, to ever feel like ministry took us "away" from them. So being able to keep them engaged and feel apart of things will always be a priority to me. So far this has been what they've needed for just enough fun after a long day. So far they seem to love it! Only 21 more days left haha.

New Memories with Old Friends

One of our dear friends from college recently got married and though I couldn't attend, it made for a great night of laughs and time with friends we don't normally get to see. We all have changed so much from when we met back in our early 20's. Life has a funny way of bringing you back and showing you how far you've come. We're all married now and some with kids and others enjoying sleeping in without littles haha. I love this bunch and glad we could all spend a night together again.

Motherhood: Apple Picking Field Trips

 

 

Out of the almost dozen photos we took, he still didn't look at the camera! I adored the time I got to take and spend it Apple Picking with Kai and his class this week. The weather wasn't fantastic, it was quite cold actually...but there is nothing like having your child be proud of your presence. These are the moments that remind me that I made the right decision in focusing on my family more than my career or hopes for a certain financial status. 

It's a breath of fresh air to do this with him...by no means is it easy. Many days I wonder if I'm doing the best thing for the boys in this season right now. Then I look at this photo

 

 

...and I'm reminded yes. A complete and peaceful yes to moments like this. The rest will fall into place, but I only get this once in my lifetime.

 

Weekend Adventures: Youth Ministry Overload

As my boys peacefully sleep for a few hours (hopefully) I begin to sit and unwind from an incredible experience that I hope my written words give justice to. This weekend we took a group of students to our local district Youth Convention. Mind you, if you've ever done youth ministry or ministry in general these events can be a toss up: sometimes your expectations are not met, sometimes they are exceeded, or somewhere in between. However, I love the break and complete change of pace that going to a conference can bring... especially in ministry the politics of gossip, meeting standards, who to "trust" or not to, makes you lose sight of what this is all about - that's the people. Those we are meant to serve and care for...but I digress.

We left Friday afternoon, and truthfully my stomach was in knots the evening before. I thought about what if it turns out horrible... or the students think it's lame. What if someone does something stupid (because that does happen) and the trip is done? I even thought of what if I didn't plan enough and it all unravels. Despite my brave and enthusiastic face, my head was plagued with fear, and my heart was clinging to the hope that this would be a breakout moment for our group.

Transitions are challenging for adults, but honestly we do not realize how difficult they can be for youth. The youth ministry we are blessed to be apart of has gone through several years of transition and two things I strongly believe makes any ministry great, but DEFINITELY youth ministry is this: Consistency & Relationships. Of course solid biblical teaching and legitimate doctrine, but you can have the best of the best preachers and teachers and still have a lack luster group. We've worked hard and made so many mistakes in our journey of developing these two things for us and for the ministry; so this event was big for us in so many ways. Because it was not just an event, it was clothed in prayer and the desire that our students begin to see that the goal is to encounter God and never be the same...most of all to believe that you can even have that moment and it be oh so real.

The evening session began and the worship was phenomenal. We experienced Fearless BND and
Fedel. I watched with anticipation as one by one students began to feel the freedom of worshiping amongst hundreds of other students who didn't care, didn't think twice, and for one night wanted to worship. The dim lights, pumping bass, beautiful vocals, and anonymity in the crowd was the perfect recipe for laying down egos and picking up Jesus. It happened and they got it. The stage was set for God to do what only He does. Connect, break down, restore, and push forward.

I cried, I prayed, and I realized just how gratifying it is to watch someone else capture a glimpse of who God is and who He desires to be in our lives. I love our students so deeply, more so because I see so much in them. I see the fruit of all this hard work, all the long hours, and the sacrifices...the same I feel for many things that I know are worth it. Over the weekend with my three hours of sleep and missing my babies I couldn't have asked for a better time with our students.

The return would seem little to others, but the tangible feeling I have is far greater than I could contain. I am continuously reminded to invest not just pray, but truly spend the time, plant the seeds, make sure my own life is growing in God so that my time is not wasted in this ministry.

I also got a bunch of free t-shirts (my love language)...

Weekend Adventures: Plus One, Fresh Produce, New Routines

Our first weekend as a family of four! Sure we added an additional hour to our prep time and I haven't done my hair for the last several days (but I did wash it!) - we still managed to get out and enjoy our weekend.

Definitely slowed down a bit which is my favorite part about being on maternity leave - well any vacation honestly. Things are so busy even when we don't want them to be, so I'm soaking up having Mike home (he will be headed out for two weeks with some major ministry trips) and adjusting to two little ones. It's a calming feeling not having to watch the clock right now, well aside from times to nurse (which Titus makes sure to remind me ha!)

Mike planned for us to visit the local farmer's market Sunday which I absolutely loved! Since Sunday is our "work" day in a sense, I often drive by the market wishing we could browse around...but this time we got to actually stop and see for ourselves! All of the delicious fruits and veggies, and fresh DOUGHNUTS (I wish we bought more), I could have browsed a lot longer. Talking to different farmers and just bringing some great things home was well worth the trip. If you have a local one I would totally visit it - not just price wise, but the freshness I could tell immediately from when we buy at the store. Next time I go I hope to have more of a game plan/shopping list so I can really maximize my visit.

The boys enjoyed their time and I got to test out my infant insert for the Ergo I bought for Kai. Titus slept like a little prince and Kai of course munched on kettle corn almost sabotaging lunch (yolo right?) 

A well needed nap for all of us and an evening grilling closed things up for my tribe - honestly does it get any better? I'm sure it does as I get to spend moments with my boys - sleep deprived, crazy, wonderful moments...

Weekend Adventures: Surprise Shower and Icky Viruses

As we've gotten closer to the birth of baby #2, I found myself not really wanting a baby shower. Not necessarily because I don't enjoy a fun baby shower, I just didn't think after having a second boy I would need to really have another shower...but little did I know that my dear friends and family had something up their sleeves! I am not often surprised, but this brought me to tears. Seeing our youth, church family, and my own family there meant the world! In the midst of the celebration we actually were all sick! I mean like vomiting and all the gross icky things that you don't want to write down. I will spare you the details - but I was only able to go to the shower since the boys ended up having to be checked out at the doctor's office. I definitely missed them and had wished they could have celebrated with us.

I could not thank these ladies enough for planning this shower for little guy. I mean I am beyond blessed by some of THE BEST people in the world. Strange how even when you don't think you need to be taken care of, those who know you best disregard you haha! I loved the shower and we are definitely ready for this little one to make his debut next month.

 

 

Also my amazing sister made little guy a world traveling cake which is his nursery theme! I mean it was DELICIOUS and looked stinking gorgeous!! She amazes me with her talent.

I can't wait to meet him and for this little one to be surrounded by such amazing love. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!