In this Season: New Surprises & Family Moments

Though I took an unexpected break from blogging, it has definitely still been in the forefront of my mind. Being able to share and record life in a unique way is a big piece of my heart and I'm so grateful to be back (hopefully for much longer). Well much has happened! Lots of growth, changes, challenges, but oh so many triumphs. The ones that humble you and remind you that God is working ever so sweetly in your life to make you better. 

As you can see the boys have grown! And their personalities are something for short stories and live television for sure...especially Titus. They are so much fun, so much that we are having our THIRD BOY in February! Yes, you read that right...our THIRD BOY ha! I can't say that Mike and I weren't hoping for a girl (so much he thinks we should try one more time...), but my heart truly is at peace and full of excitement. 

We had the opportunity recently to do a family photo session with one of my absolute favorite photographers and close friend from Uplifted Photography! I cannot even describe how I feel looking at our family in this new season. Thank you as always Bri for capturing us so perfectly, and sweet baby boy before his arrival!

Weekend Adventures: Chalk Art at Not Your Average Joes

Life never ceases to amaze me, especially in the last few weeks. Though it seemed like a coincidence, I'm sure it wasn't and I'm grateful. 

 

If you live in Woodbridge, VA or know much about Northern Virginia we are known of course for Potomac Mills Mall, but also a sweet spot called Stonebridge Town Center. It's perfect for walking around or finding a bite to eat with friends, just a really fun place to go anytime of the week. Well one of our favorite spots to indulge in is Not Your Average Joes. From the industrial lighting to the smooth relaxed scene, Mike and I love eating there with and without the boys! 

Well earlier in the week we met the general manager and in our conversation I shared how I teach secondary art. Well it turned out they were looking for someone to redesign their chalkboard menus! So Saturday I spent the morning into the afternoon doing just that! It was an incredible experience - I mean truly it was. 

 

I can't thank Not Your Average Joes for allowing me to share one of my passions! Of course in honor of my new adventure I want to celebrate with you! So check out my Facebook page on how to enter for a $50 gift card courtesy of their wonderful staff! When you go, please be sure to check out the menu boards! 

Farewell 2016!

Imagining what this year would look like as I do every year, I have to say I didn't expect many of the things that occurred. That's not to say it was a horrible year, because quite frankly so many great lessons were learned through what felt like horrible situations. Growth is never easy, but looking back I'm grateful for every bump in the road I encountered thus far.

The last few years I've done either a main goal for the year or even a one little word to keep my focus. Anticipating a theme for the year I realize is better than just walking blindly hoping that things just "turn out well." So with that said, I don't want to just share what's been on my heart, without providing the three lessons that helped me get there! So without further adieu, my top 3 lessons of 2016 have been:

1. In the BIG scheme of life... is this important? | Majority of the time the answer has been "no" which causes me to have to emotionally check myself as well as my intentions and priorities. It's helped me not lose sight so much of what I hope to accomplish in this season of life.
2. Don't just acknowledge your flaws, do something about them! | I've had to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror more than once this year. Accepting and changing areas of my life that I know don't help me have NOT been easy. Knowing I can be lazy, forgetful, easily irritable, and a quitter make me want to run and hide - but changing them have only made me stronger.
3. Have an attitude of gratefulness and positivity | Being prone to "Negativity Nancy" syndrome is no fun, and this year I refused to stay upset and frustrated over every little thing. I'm BEYOND blessed and I don't say that boastfully, I truly say that with a humble heart. Because every need my family has is met (honestly exceedingly) and to complain and fuss takes away from that focus. Changing my perspective has helped so much in enjoying my life in the present and what's to come in the future.

So finally, to step into 2017 my goal of this year is more of a character development goal. This is something I want to become rather than just do. My BE goal for 2017 is:

I don't want to list a ton of goals or strive for greater things as I've found in the majority of my bumps in the road have come from my own lack of consistency. I start and stop. To move forward and be where I want to this time next year, I know this is what's most important. I pray and hope that you too have found your focus for the new year friend! Be safe and enjoy yourself. See you in 2017!

Family Vacation: Hello from Disney!

Can you believe we made it to Florida! All four of us! It was a much needed vacation and far far overdue for all of us. Over a year ago, Mike and I sat in a time share presentation (for three hours...literally) so that we could go on this trip which included airfare, hotel, and tickets to the Magic Kingdom! I mean it really was a deal we couldn't pass up, only having to pay taxes (which was still fantastic). The trip was amazing, and I am so grateful that we stopped and made the necessary time to be with the kids and not once talk about work or deviate from just enjoying the time together away.

I would totally go again! Even with small kids, planning truly is what made this trip worth while. Three things I learned that allowed for this experience to be one with no regrets were:

1. HAVE AN ITINERARY! You may not stick to it all, but having an outline of what we wanted to do each day allowed for enough expectancy and flexibility to keep us all excited to see and enjoy as much as possible. I had posted on my facebook asking for any and all Disney Expert advice, which came in handy! Things like buying some toys from the Disney store ahead of time, doing a character breakfast, and a few tips of being able to bring food into the park were so so helpful.

2. PACE YOURSELF! With a four year old and very active almost toddler, I knew we couldn't do it all...which is hard for me. BUT it made me slow down and just enjoy the simple things we did like play in the pool at the hotel, take a long nap (the simple things), or just sight seeing after bedtime. Vacation gets so hectic, you can forget the point is to relax...so relax.

3. IT'S OKAY TO KEEP A BUDGET! Disney can bring the best AND worst out of your kids - no matter how much money you spend. I realized that quickly as my kids still had meltdowns and tantrums...because they're kids. Knowing that, I know that the best moments we had were when nothing was purchased, but lots of laughs and pictures were taken. Knowing we were doing specific things allowed me to save on trinkets and items that I knew my kids would care less about once we returned home. So I didn't buy the $18 sparkling light saber, but I did find a $3 one at target! But we did splurge on face painting and other things that I knew Kai would never forget.

I'm no travel/vacation expert, but I hope to take these lessons and plan our next trip somewhere as a family. It was so rewarding to see the boys have a BLAST and us too. Here are some of my favorite moments

What are your favorite travel tips with littles? I can't wait to see what new adventures we take as a family of four this year. Especially since we survived the plane!

Motherhood: Friendships of the Authentic Kind

Over time you can lose touch with relationships, especially with how easy it is to "appear" connected these days. One simple text, like, or comment seems to keep you up to date or even just simple stalking pictures makes you feel like you're there some how. Life is busy, if you have kids add an extra amen to the busy, if you have a job or two, stay at home, whatever it is the last thing often on your mind can be friends...I know for me it has felt like a luxury almost to be connected to women that I like and like me in all of my crazy.

For some time I started to distance myself. I've learned over the years that people will only take so many excuses and missed hangouts until they just stop asking. Ministry or just plain tiredness often translates "I don't have time," even if it's not entirely true. So I don't set my hopes up high, and I've learned to be honest with any new potential friends...like "hey I'm not uncool, but just so you know things can get really uncool when I can't be available often..." because I know my priorities are not sweet little ducks waddling behind one another - but rather a monster truck rally smashing into unsuspecting cars knowing the end is near (it's not that terrible, but you get the gist). But I am so grateful though for the friends and women that have come in and out of my life, whether they know it or not.

As a young girl I remember desiring so badly to be liked, to have friends, to be popular... I would do anything (don't tell my mom, even if I'm turning 30) or become anyone to "fit in." Then I grew up and still struggled with the internal desire to be a part or claimed in a group. No matter how hard I've tried I've always felt like I didn't quite "fit in." My anxiety after Titus took off on a level for many months that caused my normal introvert nature to skyrocket into a hermit crab/ borderline recluse. Which most people would have never known, because I still functioned decently in ministry and as a pastor's wife from the outside...

I've come to terms though with my personality versus my desire, but it doesn't stop me from knowing that I need friends and most importantly women in my journey. To those that say they don't like having women as friends, I tell them they just haven't found a woman willing to really be their friend: no strings attached, but willing to ride the waves of authentic relationship (including the fights). Once you've found one, you really can withstand the others that pass through.

I've been called a bad friend, I've lost friends, I've left friends, but in all of that I still value friendship. I recently went through several months where all of those things were happening. I felt terrible because the mixture of my family, life in ministry, and the overcast of anxiety really didn't give off the vibe that I wanted any friends or even wanted to be a friend. Most nights I cried, I felt stressed, I didn't know why I thought having a second baby was gonna make motherhood super amazing and easy. So it made it that much tougher that all my lines of communication were strained, and I was at a loss of how to fix them. Some still aren't, that's the truth...and that's okay.

Because in that time the stillness of knowing that especially in this season as a woman and mother you need friends, I had to get over it day by day. Less time appearing engaged and more time showing up face-to-face. As a woman we all need other women, from all different backgrounds and life experiences than ours. I love reading posts about the types of women you need in your life as a mom and I often laugh, because you really need ALL types of women. As women we are so complex and multi-faceted that it never really fits into specific categories and every season requires a change in friendships, because YOU CHANGE. I've just begun to realize that about myself more and more. The woman I am today is nowhere near who I was a year ago or even six months...and I become better when I have other women beside me to continue to nurture and foster the changes I want more of and those I need less of.

So with that I say...I've been called a bad friend, I've lost friends, I've left friends, but I will always be and need a friend to walk this life with. Women are strong beautiful and gifted and authentic friendships bring the best out of us as women, as mothers, and beyond those things.

 

In this Season: Beneath the Surface

Life has been happening, and boy do I wish some moments it would just slow down and let me catch my breath. When I quit my job I didn't imagine at all that things would be as they are, and that is a great and tough feeling. A part of me envisioned being home with the boys and writing more, taking photos of their lives, and just overall slowing down... little did I know that was NOT the plan! Initially I found myself on the verge of bitterness and resentment as I was excited to begin this new journey and step into ministry with Mike part-time, but I knew that I needed rest. Rest from the long days and nights of work, missing my kids, and the guilt I've carried for quite some time as I felt I had missed so much of my life and my dreams. Sure I pouted and found myself in the bathroom angry, crying, and frustrated not really sure what the heck I was thinking...but luckily things don't end there and this new season has been far more gratifying than I ever imagined.

During this time more than ever there has been a deep stirring, the one that doesn't relent until you figure what it's about. In the stillness of my thoughts and amidst the yucky diapers, screaming, and ministry bustle things about myself have come to the surface. Ever realize how much you suppress in life? I mean truly push deep within to keep face... Insecurities, fears, regrets, hurts, dreams, desires, aspirations - the list can go on and on.  They've all flooded me one by one, each demanding attention refusing to be pushed down anymore. The common denominator of each of them has been figuring out their roots.

Why am I insecure about who I am? Why am I afraid to be confident in decisions? Will I choose to stay hurt or realize there is more life to be lived with less baggage? Is that fight even worth it? Where are my priorities? Is this even me or am I trying to impress someone?

Looking at myself in the mirror, writing, crying, seeking truth and answers that my heart seems to have been patiently waiting for. Ultimately answering, when did I lose my voice and my reason. For months I asked why do I have these gifts if I can't use them? When really I was asking why do I have these gifts if they can't give me an immediate return? I'm not famous, I'm still broke, and no one really seems interested...

It's tough being honest with yourself... because that was the real question. Where is my return? All of this work and nothing is happening! And that deep stirring was demanding a response, more like a correction in my heart. Because the joy I found as a young girl in so many areas of my life that were my voice had been swallowed up by the pressure of applause and performance. That's a dangerous and lonely place, and it's been some time that I've needed to move on from that into a place of genuine self contentment. Understanding and respecting that there will never be a great enough number or status or award that will satisfy that mentality, has allow me to refocus and understand this stirring was needed.

Releasing expectations, allowing failures, and most importantly grace has been like the longest road trip with two cranky kids in tow and no rest stop in sight! Like where the heck is the stop!! It's been a work far beneath the surface, dealing with my character, my heart, and more importantly who I want to be.

Underneath it all that authentic, genuine, purest form of myself has been re-rooting, growing, and reshaping this road I'm on that even I do not know what the next steps hold...but they feel right and I know they won't allow me to move forward without having the character and right ambition to withstand the journey.

What season are you in? What's stirring in your heart? Are you listening?

Mama Style: Glasses.com!

Among the many things that are ever changing throughout pregnancy, I think the most surprises I have are during post-partum. I mean I know what to expect as pretty much every inch of my body is rearranged and overtaken by my temporary resident until the day of their arrival, but afterwards I feel like I have no idea who's body I am in. From hair loss to changes in eyesight - post-partum definitely is an adjustment I have to take in stride! This time around I had some help as I was just in need of a new pair of glasses!

I am rather old fashion and have always chosen glasses from my local optometrist, however, I was recently contacted by GlassesShop.com to give their online ordering process a try! So after my routine exam post baby (because of course my eyesight changed) I decided to give it a spin. So what do you think? It's so great to find prescription glasses that don't seem so frumpy and plain. From the TONS of styles I found this floral wayfarer pair was definitely a new look and just enough pattern to go with anything I wear. I secretly love floral patterned anything - I just never know how to make it work without looking like a secret garden.

What's even better about GlassesShop.com is that they not only have prescription glasses you can purchase, but also sunglasses as well. I of course will need a new pair of those to go with these and can't wait to order something for Mike too! He was a bit jealous that I didn't get him anything the first go around, so I will be interested to see which pair he chooses (he is very GQ in style).

I initially was concerned about cost since we've rearranged our budget once again and it definitely doesn't include a lot of name brand items if you know what I mean. But to my surprise all of the glasses are incredibly affordable - and I'm seriously not just saying that! To even sweeten things up, they are currently running a HUGE promotion: First Pair of Glasses Free! This means that all new customers can have a pair of free glasses and only need to cover shipping and handling! Yes that includes optical and sunglasses, so you've got no excuse not to find a great pair of cheap glasses for yourself as well! 

You can also use the code GSHOT50 to receive 50% off on eyeglasses and sunglasses with free lenses (sale frames excluded)! 

So go check out their selection and come back with what you found! I would love to know which pair you chose!

 

The First Week Back

There are so many mixed emotions as I've returned back to work this past week. It's been a roller coaster emotionally that I've been able to keep to myself between the hours of 9:00am - 4:30pm, but prior to that and after I'm a mess. I don't share that in a cry for sympathy as much as I just need to write it and read it back to myself. Reassure myself that it's completely okay to not want to return to work and know that something has to change. I've been at this place before, actually three years ago when Kai was born and I swore to myself that I needed to be home with him. It didn't happen.

However, as I've anticipated returning to work I've been faced with a question that I leave unanswered in hopes that it will just "figure itself out." I mean who can truly answer what they want to do with their life? Well many people can, I've just been in the category of those that cannot pinpoint exactly what they want. Because how can one have what they love beautifully collide with a way of living? So when I'm asked I feel stuck and then too easily discouraged. Thinking that there are only a select few in life that really can do what they love and not live in a cardboard box.

So I started soul searching while on maternity leave this time around instead of starting a business, trying to make things work, and measuring/calculating a strategy of "success." Because what I love I can't say would bring monetary success, or at least I couldn't see it that way. Over a year ago I started, but never fully finished a book from a bible study I briefly attended. So I picked it back up, because I've got nothing to lose. In conjunction with that I had started the two books I shared in a previous post. Note to self: finish what you started...there is something so freeing about that. So in the process of actually sitting and writing down my roles, hopes for each of them, and what I really want my life to tell and say - I realized several things.

1. I can do FIVE things well, and they all impact making who I am a better person.
2. You don't have to work to live forever, but you do have to work at whatever it is.
3. What I really want isn't just to be home with my kids, but it most certainly is a driving force.

Though there are so many other things I'm taking in right now. I've found that as difficult as re-entering this season of working I know it doesn't have to be forever. Setting goals is going to be key to getting to where I want to be - which completely goes against my normal let's see where life takes me type of attitude. So that is what must be done now. Making lists and checking them off. Staying accountable, which is easier said than done... and most importantly NOT QUITTING (whew I said it out loud).

Not just reading and blogging...but applying. The first week back at work has been tough, I miss my boys terribly and the adjustment feels like torture. BUT it's not impossible and in the words of Oh from the movie Home "we haves hope."

Nest Eats: Sweet Nectar Iced Coffee

Most days I'm braving what life throws at me with a travel coffee mug in my hand - I'm mean seriously between little sleep and back working outside of the house I need a little boost in the morning. My sister has always been so gracious as to make me a huge mason jar of this delicious goodness when I most need it! Do you love iced coffee? If so, this recipe is divine and super easy to make. It of course is much easier on your pocket (especially since we're really cracking down on our budget even more lately). Hopefully you make yourself some and a fellow mama who needs it!

Perfect Iced Coffee Concentrate
adapted from Pioneer Woman

Makes 4 quarts…you can double this…

Half pound Ground Coffee, 8 oz  (good, Rich Roast)
4 quarts Cold Water

To Make
In a large container (I used a huge bowl), mix ground coffee with water. Cover and allow to sit at room temperature eight hours or overnight.
* If using a large bowl, cover it with plastic wrap and place a kitchen towel over it.
Line a fine mesh strainer with cheesecloth and set over a pitcher or other container. Pour coffee/water mixture through the strainer, allowing all liquid to run through. Discard grounds.
Place coffee liquid in the fridge and allow to cool. Use as needed.

For serving
You can use the following:

• Half-and-half  or flavored creamer (a generous splash per serving)
• Sweetened Condensed Milk (2-3 Tablespoons Per Serving)
• Skim Milk, 2% Milk, Whole Milk
• Sugar, Artificial Sweeteners, Syrups
• Pretty much anything to your liking…get crazy with it!

To make iced coffee, pack a glass full of ice cubes. Fill glass 2/3 to 1/2  full with coffee liquid. Add healthy splash of half-and-half or *flavored creamer. Add 2-3 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk or plain sugar and stir to combine. Taste and adjust half-and-half or whatever you are using to your liking.

*If using flavored creamer, do not add sweetened condensed milk, use regular sugar.

Go here for more information on other ways to make iced coffee concentrate.

Weekend Adventures: Plus One, Fresh Produce, New Routines

Our first weekend as a family of four! Sure we added an additional hour to our prep time and I haven't done my hair for the last several days (but I did wash it!) - we still managed to get out and enjoy our weekend.

Definitely slowed down a bit which is my favorite part about being on maternity leave - well any vacation honestly. Things are so busy even when we don't want them to be, so I'm soaking up having Mike home (he will be headed out for two weeks with some major ministry trips) and adjusting to two little ones. It's a calming feeling not having to watch the clock right now, well aside from times to nurse (which Titus makes sure to remind me ha!)

Mike planned for us to visit the local farmer's market Sunday which I absolutely loved! Since Sunday is our "work" day in a sense, I often drive by the market wishing we could browse around...but this time we got to actually stop and see for ourselves! All of the delicious fruits and veggies, and fresh DOUGHNUTS (I wish we bought more), I could have browsed a lot longer. Talking to different farmers and just bringing some great things home was well worth the trip. If you have a local one I would totally visit it - not just price wise, but the freshness I could tell immediately from when we buy at the store. Next time I go I hope to have more of a game plan/shopping list so I can really maximize my visit.

The boys enjoyed their time and I got to test out my infant insert for the Ergo I bought for Kai. Titus slept like a little prince and Kai of course munched on kettle corn almost sabotaging lunch (yolo right?) 

A well needed nap for all of us and an evening grilling closed things up for my tribe - honestly does it get any better? I'm sure it does as I get to spend moments with my boys - sleep deprived, crazy, wonderful moments...

Motherhood: Maternity Photos

Though I have been silent, I have kept several posts that I just have not pressed the "publish" button on. I will be doing this very soon as I know that this season has been a very significant one for me especially as a wife and mother...even more so as a woman. I didn't completely disappear friend, just a little silent as I've done some much needed reflection.

Recently we took some maternity photos, this we did not do with Kai. My dear friend and phenomenal photographer had been asking us for well over a year to take new family photos and the occasion finally rose with little guy coming! To say I'm in love would be an understatement! I seriously cannot get enough of how they turned out. I'm looking forward to printing these and hanging them in the nursery. Did I even mention that it's finally done?? That's a post for the weekend I think - I'm beyond elated with how that turned out as well. Okay enough, let's get to the maternity shoot!

Thank you as always Uplifted Photography for being family and dear friends - and always having an amazing vision when you capture us! We truly can't wait to meet the new little one and I cannot wait to share him with you all too! Hope you're ready to enjoy the weekend just as much as I am!