Motherhood: This is hard...

The last few weeks have been hard. I mean lost sleep, way too much yelling, and tears after bedtime hard. I lost my cool so many times I can't count and all of me would like to hide under my sheets until I can pull myself together. Sometimes this parenting thing really throws you some curveballs and you can't dodge or catch them fast enough. 

 

Last week Mike and I sat down and spoke with Kai's teacher and the PreK director in regards to preparing him for Kindergarten. There were concerns about his ability to self regulate and if he may be too young to really adjust to the structure of the actual classroom setting. Truthfully the feedback was helpful, though my momma heart was so torn and broken as I felt I missed the mark. I kept thinking how did I not see this? Have I been too lenient and passive? What do I do now? And I beat myself up. Blaming what I felt was a stamp or label (which it was not) on our son....and my job as his mom. I cried. I ugly cried. Did I say I cried?

Everything inside of me wanted to quit motherhood for the next several days. But I knew I needed to really get my head straight and see what was what. When you hear "negative" or unpleasant things especially about your children it can overshadow any truth. All of the sudden you think it's ALL bad and it's ALL over, when it's probably not. So I took a mental break and this past weekend I did some rearranging. I received several helpful tips to better prepare myself and Kai for next year along with developing a structure and expectations that are conducive without overwhelming him at home (I'd love to share my 3 favorites):

 

1. Get Creative in Learning your kid's learning style: Though every child learns differently, knowing how your child learns makes you a stronger advocate. You can share and provide tips when working with your child's teacher. It's great to know and verbalize your kid's needs, because they are one of many in a class (not bad, just reality). Trying flash cards, art projects, interactive apps, videos, and games help you gauge what your child leans towards in comprehending content. I'm noticing that Kai does very well with all of those and I'm still learning more!
2. Have a learning time in your schedule: It's okay to carve a specific time in your day and/or week that's dedicated to learning and academic growth. I have shied away from this in efforts to not "overwhelm Kai," but he has eaten up our 10-15 minutes a day of skill work. We started off with 5-7 minutes as his attention span was a concern and are close to 10-15 now! I time it as I know he will be required to maintain focus for that long with a few breaks in between.
3. Find Resources!: From Pinterest to Target and even ALDI I've found awesome skill workbooks and ideas that have been so helpful. It has also taken the pressure off of having to come up with it all. I will be sharing my favorites soon! 

In my fear and lack of knowledge in how to engage Kai academically I almost missed a new side of connecting with him. I'm really grateful that asking other moms, educators, and being able to see the recommendations for him from the school have turned into a positive situation for all of us. Wish us well as I navigate this with him. He is so bright and amazing I want him to always know that.

Toddler Chronicles: 'Tis the Season

It's almost Christmas and of course we had to see Kai perform at the preschool winter recital!! This guy cracks me up. For the last few weeks he has been randomly singing different songs from his program in the car or around the house. I have to say I was intrigued by the mixed up versions of songs. 

Last year's performance was full of tears and him coming off the stage after he realized I was so near him. So I made sure to make a mental note: STAY IN THE BACK! I didn't want to make the same mistake again... But he did see us! Kai kept waving and saying hi to his friends in the front (repeatedly), but he had a great time. I'm so proud of him. Daily I'm amazed at how smart, intuitive, and fun he is. 

Makai you truly are the best four year old I know stinky pants. 

Toddler Chronicles: Don't Forget Me!

 

"Mom! Don't forget me!!" With big gorgeous brown eyes that melt my core... He says it every time he sees his brother receiving attention and I know exactly what that means. My independent, smart, and wild little boy hates to feel left out, so he's big on not excluding others. He has such a heightened sensitivity to it... it's one of the things I admire about him.

With everything in me I have to take a deep breath and pause, because he is still just a little as his brother in his eyes...and he refuses to let anyone of us miss it. Juggling two kids has been an adjustment...that's an understatement friends. It's been a HUGE adjustment. Daily I have to take it in stride with sweet baby Jesus' loving grace. 

Initially kai's phrase a sweetly painted above would get on my nerves...a lot. I'd bark back (I know, not my best moments) with "Kai it's not about you! Wait your turn!" Or try and redirect him to play alone. But Kai is persistent, a quality from his daddy haha! And the more he said it the more I realized I've got to change my perspective on this and acknowledge we are adjusting at our own pace. Honestly I'm glad he's adjusted more on the inclusion side than other less loving moments of toy snatching, shoving, you get the point - brotherly love/hazing. 

 

But more importantly deep down I'm glad he notices, because I watch his fierce character notice that for his friends too. Sometimes at school I get to watch him play just before picking him up and he is always surrounded by other kids. Always inviting someone to our house or giving a ton of hugs prior to his departure. He's already set a standard for himself, and I'm okay with raising my own bar of expectations for him. 

So Kai, don't worry you're always included...and even when you're not I know you'll create a place wherever you are so that others don't have to ask "what about me" either.

Family Vacation: Hello from Disney!

Can you believe we made it to Florida! All four of us! It was a much needed vacation and far far overdue for all of us. Over a year ago, Mike and I sat in a time share presentation (for three hours...literally) so that we could go on this trip which included airfare, hotel, and tickets to the Magic Kingdom! I mean it really was a deal we couldn't pass up, only having to pay taxes (which was still fantastic). The trip was amazing, and I am so grateful that we stopped and made the necessary time to be with the kids and not once talk about work or deviate from just enjoying the time together away.

I would totally go again! Even with small kids, planning truly is what made this trip worth while. Three things I learned that allowed for this experience to be one with no regrets were:

1. HAVE AN ITINERARY! You may not stick to it all, but having an outline of what we wanted to do each day allowed for enough expectancy and flexibility to keep us all excited to see and enjoy as much as possible. I had posted on my facebook asking for any and all Disney Expert advice, which came in handy! Things like buying some toys from the Disney store ahead of time, doing a character breakfast, and a few tips of being able to bring food into the park were so so helpful.

2. PACE YOURSELF! With a four year old and very active almost toddler, I knew we couldn't do it all...which is hard for me. BUT it made me slow down and just enjoy the simple things we did like play in the pool at the hotel, take a long nap (the simple things), or just sight seeing after bedtime. Vacation gets so hectic, you can forget the point is to relax...so relax.

3. IT'S OKAY TO KEEP A BUDGET! Disney can bring the best AND worst out of your kids - no matter how much money you spend. I realized that quickly as my kids still had meltdowns and tantrums...because they're kids. Knowing that, I know that the best moments we had were when nothing was purchased, but lots of laughs and pictures were taken. Knowing we were doing specific things allowed me to save on trinkets and items that I knew my kids would care less about once we returned home. So I didn't buy the $18 sparkling light saber, but I did find a $3 one at target! But we did splurge on face painting and other things that I knew Kai would never forget.

I'm no travel/vacation expert, but I hope to take these lessons and plan our next trip somewhere as a family. It was so rewarding to see the boys have a BLAST and us too. Here are some of my favorite moments

What are your favorite travel tips with littles? I can't wait to see what new adventures we take as a family of four this year. Especially since we survived the plane!

Harvest Carnival 2016

I had great delusions of grandeur (using my psychology degree) of making an incredible costume for the boys. I mean really pulling out my MOM DIY SKILLS and taking it to the next level. Then reality set in and two days before Harvest Carnival, I was scrambling at Walmart, Target, and JoAnn Fabrics trying to not be that mom who didn't come through. 

So Mike with his bright ideas (thank God honestly), he told me to check on one of the online yard sales we're a part of on Facebook to see if I could snag a costume. And wouldn't you know I got TWO! A wonderful lady was selling a ton of costumes and I got an Optimus Prime suit with mask (the one Kai is sporting so fiercely above) and an Ironman full suit for $20! When Kai came home and saw them both his reaction was priceless.

So glad there were no tears and tons of smiles tonight. He kept wishing everyone a Happy Halloween haha and binged on all sorts of unnecessary sweets. That's what it's about right? 

Hope you had a safe and wonderful time too!

Motherhood: Apple Picking Field Trips

 

 

Out of the almost dozen photos we took, he still didn't look at the camera! I adored the time I got to take and spend it Apple Picking with Kai and his class this week. The weather wasn't fantastic, it was quite cold actually...but there is nothing like having your child be proud of your presence. These are the moments that remind me that I made the right decision in focusing on my family more than my career or hopes for a certain financial status. 

It's a breath of fresh air to do this with him...by no means is it easy. Many days I wonder if I'm doing the best thing for the boys in this season right now. Then I look at this photo

 

 

...and I'm reminded yes. A complete and peaceful yes to moments like this. The rest will fall into place, but I only get this once in my lifetime.

 

Weekend Adventures: Happy Birthday Kai!

Since this summer has been quite busy with Titus arriving and Mike traveling for two weeks straight, I couldn't decide if I was going to go all out for Kai's third birthday or keep it simple. A part of me felt guilty simply because I didn't want him to think that we weren't going to celebrate since little brother arrived (which I'm sure he wouldn't have even noticed)...but I knew trying to do too much would overwhelm me more than necessary. So after shopping around in hopes of doing it outside of the house, I realized that it is far cheaper to do a house party than to go anywhere! For the last few birthdays I have always budgeted around $150-$200 (I love a great party, but I don't think you have to kill your wallet either). When I noticed that the venues I was looking at didn't really give me much bang for my buck - I knew I could figure something fun and simple this year!

Luckily Kai is obsessed with Super Hero Squad...everything is related to Spiderman, Superman, anything super and incredible. I had high hopes of making capes and felt masks that our guests could decorate, but I guess I had forgotten that I just gave birth. So with some help from a midnight run to Wal-Mart I scooped up the perfect items for the party. I love creating themes and being original with our birthdays, but I gave myself a break this time around. I love how everything turned out honestly. We rented a bounce house since our yard is large enough and everyone went home exhausted (isn't that the goal). To watch Kai's face light up when we sang to him made it all worth it. Some things I did include this year were table crafts that were a hit with a mask, coloring sheet, crayons, and of course a gift cup with candy and a few themed school supplies! And of course my sister made THE MOST amazing cake that was incredibly delicious!

I'm so happy that we kept it simple this year. I of course hope to get back to our original themed birthdays and can't wait to see what we do for Titus! I know I don't want him to grow at all, but I sure do love a great celebration!! I can't believe our sweet boy is THREE. He amazes me daily and he most certainly is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in ever sense.

Our Nest: Here Comes Big Kid!

For the last several weeks I've had this slight nudging to take the big comfy chair out of Kai's room and replace it with a space of his own. This chair has been in his nursery since he was born and has soothed us both during late night nursing and sick days. I love this chair, but lately Kai has been putting himself to sleep as well as needing less time to snuggle.

Sometimes as parents we want to hold tightly with the excuse that we know what's best... and as much as I cling to that I knew that it was time for a change. Kai has always had an independent spunk to him and I've had to learn to be okay with letting him spread his wings despite my motherly fears.

So with the help of my sister and a few items she had kept from her boys, I replaced the chair with a table and a small reading chair for him.

Last night we colored (his new favorite thing) and did a few puzzles before bedtime. Of course we still read a story and went to the potty!! Because if your toddler initiates using the potty you celebrate any chance you get ha! But the space is perfect for him and so much better used than my favorite chair.

As I continue to watch him grow I'm constantly walking the tight rope of watching him spread his wings and be his safety net, but I don't want to miss these transitions and help him embrace healthy change. So as I celebrate his new space and this next phase of toddlerhood - I hope you enjoy whatever stage you're in with your little and are encouraged to walk with me side by side... cause this parenting thing is tough!

The Pumpkin Patch

Earlier this week I had the privilege of chaperoning my FIRST field trip! These are things I think all parents get excited about honestly. Just being able to enjoy watching Kai and his classmates as well as him experience something new - couldn't have asked for anything better. We went to Belvedere Plantation and had a blast. Any time I can actively watch and see how Kai soaks in new experiences is always a win/win for me (even when he melts down with ten other toddlers for a nap time...).

I was able to sneak in a few pictures before I made sure to put my phone away and just be in the moment with him. Tis the season for pumpkins! Have you and your littles ventured out yet?

Weekend Adventures: We're Two!

This weekend was extra special since we got to celebrate the big #2!! I can't believe how fast time is flying by and I'm not sure if I want it to continue at this pace (slow.down.please). However, this was by far my favorite out of the two parties this year. We were able to celebrate in our new home and we had a bounce house! Thanks to Mike (he truly saved the party this year) we ended up renting one out while I had a series of meltdowns since I was so far behind on planning.

Though I had a Pinterest board for this event and I had talked about it; I just wasn't ready or prepared as much as I had hoped to be. I scrambled for a theme since Kai is into several different things. Would it be cars? dancing? wrestling? I just couldn't decide until as of recently he has fallen in love with matchbox cars - AHA! So with a simple car theme we made this party happen from start to finish. It was a great combination of house welcoming and birthday party all at once. Our dearest of friends came and I realized just how grateful and blessed we are to be surrounded by authentic friendship. I even stepped out a little in style since I've been developing my eye for thrifted goods!

With lots of bouncing, laughter, and heartfelt embraces we celebrated the sweetest gift I've ever been given.

photography courtesy of Uplifted Photography