Motherhood: Titus Xavier's Birth Story

"It's a false alarm. Your contractions are decreasing, I can tell in your face you're not happy, but maybe you're dehydrated a little - I'm so sorry." Nothing but a flashback of sitting in Labor and Delivery for Kai as the midwife told me the same, with much less grace and a disclaimer that this was what "first time moms do."

That was Monday... I cried. If looks could kill I murdered that sweet doctor multiple times and even more when she mentioned I should push up my c-section date. I wanted so badly to be affirmed that I had an ounce of understanding that I was in labor (seriously I was on contraction watch the ENTIRE 38th & 39th week!) I didn't want this to end up like my first pregnancy when the nurse asked me why my fluids had not been checked sooner and I could've avoided a c-section.

Please do not misunderstand I have no qualms with c-sections and my recovery was nothing like many of the stories I've heard, but to know it wasn't medically necessary was something that never settled with me...I knew my body. 

Leaving the hospital I held Mike's hand and I cried/ threw a tantrum that this all was a waste of time. "This is not like the first pregnancy, and you've got to stop reliving it." He was right - because up until that point the last two weeks I couldn't focus on anything else, but having a VBAC. It somehow would justify things - make it right...but that wasn't completely true. Makai's birth story made me a mother - how incredible was that and is?!? How he arrived did not take away that fact in the slightest. So I let it rest (as much as my anxious heart could), and after Monday I knew I needed to stop obsessing and let it be.

Tuesday - After the false alarm and everything checked out well I was asked to come into the office to see if I had progressed and to just follow-up. My mom went with me, because moms are just amazing like that. The doctor did her routine exam and unexpectedly stripped my membranes, pretty sure each time I've done this I still clench at the thought... After a few laughs and a side eye for catching me off guard, the doctor simply said "I'm very hopeful this weekend he will come. You're a great candidate still." (And a note to keep walking...and have more sex) Of course as we left my mom cheered we were 2cm and effacing (thanks mom). I took a sigh of relief...it would work out how it should. With that sigh brought on contractions - like the ones veteran moms tell you about...for the next four days. 

Saturday (due date) - I figured I needed to keep myself occupied at this point. Mike left for a meeting early morning so Kai and I took a spin at grocery shopping. Grocery shopping and contractions don't really mix... I received several "you're ready to pop," "you're huge," "wow!" - all of the usual pregnant women greetings while checking items off our list. We made it home and I was exhausted. Around 6pm I started noticing a pattern with the contractions, but didn't time them (out of fear honestly)...but by 7:30pm, they weren't stopping. So we waited until 9:00pm and I called to see if I needed to go to the hospital. Yes. 

Dropped off Kai and made our way down not sure what to expect, but the contractions kept coming.

Around 10:30pm we were admitted and I was at 3cm 80% effaced. Contractions were consistent and the doctor discussed a plan, explaining I needed an epidural just in case a c-section was needed (I felt at peace). We were in, it was really happening, if anything this was it!!

I will spare you the next several hours, because they consisted of me pretty sure I was ready to rip out my insides, tears, trying to not punch someone - great labor things. Strangely my epidural didn't work and only numbed the top half of my left thigh haha, so this was incredibly natural ironically... but after my water broke I went from 4cm to 6cm and then I started yelling that I needed to push. Luckily I was right 9.5cm and got the green light within seconds. 

Our Nurse Dana!

My mom was the big coach and kept me from all of my "I cant's." Mike was exactly what I needed with a side of humor only he can get away with, holding my hand calmly reminding me I was doing great (and I think at one point when the head was crowing he was going to pass out haha). And lastly was our phenomenal nurse Dana who was our biggest advocate despite the doctor at one pointing
stating we needed a c-section. No words can ever thank her.

Sunday at 1:48pm Titus Xavier Galeano burst (literally) into the world. 8lbs 19.5" with a mane that you could make a toupee out of! I cried, I yelled "it's a baby!!" when he came out (everyone burst into laughter) not sure what I was expecting, but I couldn't believe it happened. He was here, it was a VBAC, I had the best support team (thanks to my close friends and especially my sister who responded to EVERY text, call, pigeon carrier about my labor process), and medical advocate through it all - no cliche it was a blessing and a wonderful lesson.

Their stories are so different and I'm so grateful to be a mother of two stunning little boys. I will say Titus' birth has brought Mike and I closer and me much more vulnerable about my own faith, handling the unknown, and trusting God with my hopes and dreams more than before (because it's not easy no matter how long you've served Him). 

I'm excited to enjoy our growing family and I can't say enough how awesome it is when you have others believing in your dream with you.

Welcome sweet Titus Xavier.